What is happiness?
Ok, so here’s a thought I had the other day. It came to me after reading something, and it’s been on my mind ever since.
If people did what truly made them happy in relationships, would they really be happier, or would they always search for something more, with another person?
Thoughts on the topic
I believe that most of us go into relationships with the intention of staying with the person we fell in love with. But life happens, and sometimes you grow apart, or you simply fall out of love. But why do some relationships survive, while others don’t?
Do most people just settle because they are comfortable, or they’re afraid of change?
Once you have a family, if you’re just going through the motions, will your loved one sense it and suffer silently? Or would they understand and let you go, understanding that you will be happier elsewhere.
Let’s say you go and find someone else. Who says that after a few years you’re not going to get into the same rut? What then? You just jump from person to person, relationship to relationship, for the rest of your life?
When is enough to make you quit the relationship and leave? What causes some people to get their courage to leave while others stay, meanwhile they’re clearly miserable?
Some of these questions we will really never get an answer to, and everyone’s experience is different. It really isn’t something that can be generalized, because we are all unique in our own way.
Relationships are complicated, and they should not be dictated by society. We are all individuals that have individual needs. That doesn’t mean that it gives us a green pass to do as we please with disregard to other fellow humans. but following a certain type of ‘acceptable’ relationship is archaic, in my opinion. What works for one couple does not necessarily work for another couple.
I grew up in the seventies in Romania, where people’s mentality at the time was that people met, got married, and that was pretty much how life was supposed to go. No one dared question it and if they did, they were isolated and ostracized. So until I came to Canada, and even while I was living here as an adult, that was pretty much the norm.
In my case, I never got married, but I had fantasies while I was a little girl. I was brought up with the mentality that I had to, and until recently, I never felt complete as a woman because I never got to. Many times throughout my adult life I was made to feel as if something was wrong with me for not wanting to get married at some point, or not being able to attract the right type of person who would marry me.
Now, in retrospect, it was probably a blessing in disguise. Some people would feel very miserable being tied down, and I always appreciated my freedom, but a little part of me always wished that I was married. Not because of the institution itself, mostly for the feeling of security you get when you find your person, your better half.
Is it just because I’ve been conditioned to think that way all my life? I’d like to think that I have my own mind, but the idea of sharing your life with your person, the one that can almost read your mind, that is your true soulmate. It actually sounds pretty good to me.
Is it truly unachievable? Is true companionship an unreasonable fantasy? Yet some people seem to have found it, while others never do.
I guess this is just one of those life mysteries that will never be answered with 100% certainty. But a subject that could be debated forever, and the response from person to person so different.
That is it for my random ramblings this time.
I’ll catch you next time friends!