As my big 50th birthday came and went, I felt like sharing some of my turning 50 wisdom ramblings with you. I haven’t done one of my random ramblings posts in a while, so I thought it was about time. My birthday a few days ago really shook me up, and even those closest to me have no idea.
Becoming a year older than I was last week doesn’t necessarily make me wiser. At the very least, I’m hoping to be a little bit more mature than I was yesterday.
Some are related to my big milestone birthday, others are inspired by recent events.
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When I was younger, I thought that when you had a milestone birthday such as 30, 40, or 50, you had this epiphany. You know, like you see in movies, where suddenly you feel more mature, more settled.
As it turns out, it’s a day like any other day. However you felt the day before is pretty much exactly the same as your actual birthday. But you actually have a bit more aches and pains, so yay to that!
Your actual birthday doesn’t make the day feel any different, it’s only special to you.
These are some of the birthday feelings I’ve had in the past couple of days, and I thought I would share them with you. I’m sure many people feel similar emotions when a big birthday milestone comes along.
It makes you realize you don’t have that many years left to do what you dreamt of when you were younger. That realization can cause some unsettling feelings in many people.
I personally haven’t felt great about my birthday in a very long time. This year was not much different.
They say that to live a happy life, you should never expect anything. But I’ve always wondered, if you have no expectations, nothing to look forward to, what is the point of life?
I always show up for those I love, and I don’t do it to get something in return.
Older and Wiser
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As human beings, we mature and grow throughout our entire lives. We all do it at our own pace, but getting older will eventually help you look at things differently.
Your most intimate relationships such as romantic relationships, or mother-daughter, father-son, or between friends or siblings take a more important role in your life.
This year showed me again people’s true colors. Something unexpected happened in my very close circle right around my birthday. I will not go into details about the actual incident, because I want to respect the person’s privacy. But it was a very upsetting yet eye-opening incident. It left both me and someone very close to me with a very bitter taste in our mouths.
I want to stress that when people show you who they really are, it is very important that you believe them. They say actions speak louder than words. But inaction is also crystal clear.
True friends do not need coaxing or convincing for them to show up for you in your time of need, they simply do. They would drop anything in order to be there for you and lend a hand. When you hear excuses from someone who’s supposed to have your back, it’s time to say goodbye to that person. Cut your losses and move on. It hurts for sure, but not as much as staying in an unsatisfying relationship.
Which takes me to my next point.
Female Friendship Breakups
As a woman, I know how important female friendships are. But how do you handle a breakup with a close friend? Someone who was in your life for a great number of years?
Sometimes friends grow apart for various reasons. Different life choices, career moves, children or lack thereof, and so on. Sometimes those breakups happen very subtly and at times over a long period of time. There are other times when a big blow out is what dissolves a friendship.
Unfortunately, these things happen, but how do you cope with the sadness of losing a friend?
Coping With the Loss of a Friend
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I heard a podcast the other day that was talking about this subject, and it got me thinking. It is so true that in case of a romantic breakup, those in your close circle offer you their support in order to grieve. They allow you to wallow in your sorrow and they commiserate with you.
But in the case of a female friendship breakup, no one seems to offer you the same support. It is often overlooked, as if your pain isn’t as real. Depending on how long the friendship lasted, it can feel even worse than a romantic breakup.
When you lose a close friend or romantic partner, let it be a lesson for the future. Use this time to practice some self-care and learn to love yourself again. By doing that, you will attract better people in your life next time around. Listen to this 50 year old’s ramblings, I talk from experience!
We’ve all been through this type of loss at some point in our lives, and it hurts like hell. But we get up again and learn to stand on our own.
Sometimes it may take a long time to find the right people that you need in your life. But when you do, you will appreciate them so much more.
What To Look For in a Good Relationship
I’m not going to lie, good relationships are boring. But boring is good when it comes to relationships. That means you have mutual respect for each other. If you don’t need to cause drama to get attention, the relationship is solid.
This applies for all types of relationships: family, friends, or romantic relationships. When you feel comfortable enough to be present and enjoy the other person, that qualifies as a good relationship.
At the end of the day mutual respect and consideration is more important than anything else. It can be even better if you can have fun and laugh together as well.
Each person has their own set of values and qualities they consider important in relationships of any kind. Hopefully you can find that special person that fits some of your criteria. When you do, you should consider yourself lucky.
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This sums up my turning 50 ramblings for today. I apologize if this post doesn’t resonate with everyone. I just felt the need to share this with you guys today. I hope I didn’t come across as preachy, but I really wanted to talk about these topics.
Back to the regular bookish content very soon, I promise. Let me know if this type of random rambling interests you. If you enjoy this type of article, I will do it more often.
Until next time, keep reading my fellow bookworms.